Amelia Earhart

First, an addendum to the tale of the farting student first mentioned in the entry entitled 'Everyweek miracles' earlier this month.

The teacher from Spain informed us this week that the young offender now asks for a bathroom pass every time he is about to, well, offend.

On average the kid asks for it 2-3 times a class period.

Also noteworthy was Monday, the day my pregnant teacher friend asked repeatedly if she looked fat.

"You're pregnant," I responded.

"Yeah but I do I look fat? I feel like I have such a belly."

"Well, yeah."

As with most places, however, there were only three days of work this week. We packed it in on Wednesday so Thursday and Friday could be spent celebrating Thanksgiving.

Mine was a large affair at my Mom's place in New Jersey. There were twenty-five people.

My brother, a rock star of a chef, came in from LA. He smoked one turkey and roasted another.

There was risotto stuffing along with sweet potatoes mashed with creme fraiche, roasted root vegetables, spinach casserole, and, of course, pie.

It was a mountain of good eats and then the customary family jam session.

My mom's side of the family has an unusually strong musical gene. I have eight cousins on this side. Six of them, along with my brother and I, all my mom's siblings, and my mom play music.

Everyone brings guitars to Thanksgiving. We sit around making a racket after we're done stuffing our faces.

As we were rocking out I heard a couple of stories.

The first story came on the tale end of a conversation about hearing damage due to loud music.

One of my younger cousins said that his girlfriend got inner ear trauma after attending a bar mitzvah in their swanky Jewish suburb. The parents, evidently, had hired Dem Franchise Boyz to come and perform.

Who ever said Jews don't know how to party?

The second story was about an older male relative with dementia so advanced that the only words that seem to escape from his mouth are sexual propositions. These are directed at any female in his vicinity, including offspring, granddaughters, and, occasionally, men.

A few weeks ago this older relative was having dinner with his son and ten-year-old granddaughter. His son encouraged the granddaughter to tell her grandfather about a book report she had just completed on Amelia Earhart. When the little girl was done, her grandfather turned to her and said,

"Amelia Earhart? I fucked her. All her friends too."

His son very quickly asked for the check but did wonder, as did we all, if his little girl would be repeating the words of her grandfather when she got up to do her report the following day.